To the Esteemed and Powerful Splendid-Paws,
This one offers condolences on that unfortunate incident at the capital. Know that your empire of unlawful activity thrives in your absence. Your sister, the equally impressive Silver-Fur, maintains a sharp claw on all of your profitable businesses. Your organization will continue to flourish until we can extradite you from the city dungeons. In the meantime, this one has compiled the information you requested.
Mizzik Thunderboots fancies himself an investigator, like the heroes of those preposterous novels that stupid Two-Claws constantly drones on about. He has had some small amount of success, but not from any real talent that this one could discern. If anything, this gaudy popinjay demonstrates a level of patience that borders on cowardice and is the least action-oriented Khajiit this one has ever laid eyes on. And he has an unquenchable thirst for gold, as evidenced by the exorbitant prices he charges for his so-called services. Are you certain that he is investigating you? I found no sign that any of your usual enemies had hired or even spoken to this Thunderboots.
As this one followed Mizzik around for the better part of a week, he noticed a few telling features almost immediately. Mizzik always dresses to impress, with a foppish hat and footwear that obviously inspired his ridiculous nomenclature. He tends to narrate his actions as he speaks, harkening again to the tales of Investigator Vale or the Green Hood. Some of his clients find it charming. This one wanted to cough up a hairball. He does seem to have a knack for puzzling out complex mysteries and asking questions, but he has no whiskers for anything that approaches dangerous. That is why this one has a hard time imagining him as a threat—especially to someone of your illustrious stature, Splendid-Paws.
If this one found anything that might require deeper delving into, it was this. Mizzik Thunderboots’ most impressive successes have come when he happened to gain the assistance of one particular adventurer who you may have heard about. Yes, that one. The one who loves to stick their tail into everyone’s business. Who travels the width and breadth of Tamriel and seems to always be in the right place at the right time. Obviously, it is easier for Thunderboots to apply whatever cunning he possesses when he can lean on the bravery and fighting skills of a self-styled hero.
What else is there to say on this matter? This one witnessed Mizzik Thunderboots work an investigation for a noble, Lady Tor of Leyawiin. She wanted Thunderboots to determine which of her many servants and hirelings were stealing sweets from her pantry. Yes, a frivolous plight, but such are the situations that attract this dandy in Khajiit clothing. When he accosted one burly valet and accused him of the crime, a balled fist and a threatening scowl were more than enough to make Thunderboots faint dead away. But, this one admits to being slightly impressed with what happened next.
Mizzik gathered all of the servants and hirelings in the courtyard of Lady Tor’s estate shortly after the latest trays of sweetrolls had emerged from the kitchen’s ovens. This one could smell the tempting aroma from where he hid and watched the proceedings. They smelled very good. Anyway, as Lady Tor and her husband looked on, Mizzik asked all of those assembled to hold out their hands—including Lady Tor and her husband. And who do you think Mizzik caught with fingers still sticky from the warm and gooey bun? It was Lady Tor’s husband! He apologized profusely as he admitted he couldn’t help himself. He blamed it on his personal healer, who had forbade him from consuming anything sweet or delicious until he lost some weight and could once again fit into his finest tunic. He figured it was easier to blame a servant than to admit his weakness to his overbearing wife. Mizzik took his payment and departed, obviously quite pleased with his performance.
Still, on his own, this Mizzik Thunderboots is a passable investigator at best and more likely a bumbling idiot who sometimes gets lucky. You have nothing to fear from this one, Splendid-Paws. Unless he once again acquires the assistance of that meddling adventurer. Or he gets very lucky. This one will continue to observe him. Just in case.
Your loyal lieutenant,
No mystery goes unresolved while the eccentric investigator Thunderboots is on the case! You can learn more about Mizzik by finding him within the city of Riverhold in Northern Elsweyr or by unlocking him as a Houseguest this month! There’s still time to log in every day this November to claim him, so get to it! Would you like to see more of Tamriel’s most stylish detective? Let us know via X (Formerly Twitter), Instagram, and Facebook.